{GUIDE} When your loved ones admitted to critical ward: What to do

سَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُl

Hello pretty awesome. I know it's like a non- beauty related post, but I felt like it's a good thing to share about since I got so many people asking what do they do if someone they love admitted to critical ward. I've been a nurse in critical care unit for almost 4 years and I have witness the worst case scenario even far more bizarre than what I've seen on TV. And often, when these happen to somebody you love, you felt like you can't do anything other than rely on what doctors and nurses are doing.

I have to admit to be in that position, it would be the scariest things ever. Cause you can't control everything that happens. Working everyday and seeing this situation everyday makes me felt almost normal to take care of critical patient whom probably at the end of their life. People's perception when someone admitted to ICU often the worst. They would say admitted to ICU would be a 50- 50 chance of life and death. But I'm here to tell you that 'stigma' is not totally true.

Admitted to ICU doesn't mean you're going to die. Admitted to ICU is actually a chance for someone to live. Needless to say, Life and Death have been set by The Great Almighty since we were born. What we can do is live a better life. From experience, I've seen someone's dad admitted and his daughter are too anxious and often cried seeing her dad. That shows how worried she was towards her dad. I also seen someone's dad whom had child that never come to visit and never care to know how his/ her dad in ward. In both scenario, I would say be calm about it but don't be too calm until you don't care at all.

Source

So here's a simple guide or rather few sharing of mine that I think you should do when someone you love admitted to critical ward.

1) Bring useful things instead of fruits and flowers

I know people often bring fruits and flowers to sick people because it's a common things to do. Ya, fruits can be delicious and healthy if you're not sick, but sometimes, fruits can be harmful to people with diabetic. Fruits are healthy to eat if you're healthy but sick people especially diabetic can't eat too much papaya and even apple contains glucose or even banana can be harmful. I've seen diabetic patient gone blind eating too much banana. Hence, instead of fruits, I would suggest bringing water like in Islam we got water that have been chime with Quran or even Zam zam water or in other religion they have Holy water or any kind of plain water can do good. Even patients with water restrictions are encouraged to drink. Supplement can also be brought in...However, some supplements are just too strong and can be dangerous interacting with medication. Hence, do avoid unnecessary supplements if you're taking medication.

Source

Flowers can be such a lovely things to see when you're sick. Seeing beautiful things can bring calmness to you. However, patients in ICU are mostly unconscious or in coma state. Sight is not an option for them. Sometimes flowers can be dangerous for asthma patients cause it can triggers asthma attack by all the dust and dirt that flower trapped. The last sense that you have as a human being is the sense of hearing. I would strongly suggest bringing a radio or mp3 or any audio device so that the patient can hear something useful in his or her unconscious state. Like for Islam, we were advised to hear Quran even when we're healthy and reciting Yasin is often done when visiting someone sick. It saddens me sometimes to see people especially Muslim visiting patient in critical ward just sit and do nothing and sometimes even chit chatting with their friends and fooling around while that patient can hear everything you're saying.

Other than that, you can also bring extra skin care toiletries like a good lotion, diaper rash cream, anti- embolism stockings, face cleanser, face cream, ointment and other stuff that is relevant. A patient that is in coma state can't even move a muscle on bed. They depend 100% on nurses to feed them and to clean them,nurses and doctors are responsible in making sure every vital organ are functioning as normal as they could and be ready to function when they woke up from unconscious state. Imagine being unconscious for a month, do you think stomach would know how to digest if you stop them? All organs are vital and to keep them as normal as it could be...we as nurses need to kept that by feeding and maintain hygiene are the most important part of it. I understand that there's no point of bringing it all if the nurse won't use it. I also apologize for the lack of care that we sometimes overlook. However, you should understands that we are human being and we can't just give 100% of our time and energy to do a full spa treatment to patients although we tried to, we have other works to complete like doctor's order and documentation. Paper work is sometimes the most burdening of our work to be honest. My advise here is for you to take the initiative to do that simplest things like nail clipping, hair combing, lotion application by yourself during visiting hours. That way, you would also have time bonding with your loved ones, We as nurses also are happy to assist you caring for your loved ones.

Now let's summarize this point. What useful items to bring to a someone in critical ward.

Water : Yasin water, Any kind of Quran recitation water, Holy water 

Supplements: Vitamin C, Vitamin B12, Multivitamin

Audio player: Radio, MP3, MP4, Handphone

Useful items: Dry shampoo, shampoo, hair brush, nail clipper, ointment, body wash, lotions, diaper rash cream, diapers, anti- embolisms stoking, pillows, vitamin E cream, facial cleanser, facial cream, cotton bud.

2) Be knowledgeable and involve
When having someone you love in coma state or unconscious state,  you as the closest person might be one of the decision maker to any procedure and any surgery that doctors suggest. Hence, be more proactive in asking what you're curious about especially the diagnosis and medication given to the patient. Take time to look up on net what's the disease about, how someone affected by the disease and is there a cure to it. Also take note of what every medication given are for and is there any major side effects. Notice monitoring screen like blood pressure and heart. Take a look of patient's surrounding and notice everything happening like is there any ventilator machine involve or any dialysis machine involve. Not every patient in ICU require major treatment. Sometimes, ICU patient only admitted to ICU for CLOSE MONITORING. Thus, don't be to anxious and keep on praying.

3) Respect people around, respect people's privacy
Having to say the second point, I love it when patient's family take care and concern about their loved ones...but please KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES. Even when you pay for all the treatment. Don't kept on asking inappropriate question or bossing around and demanding unnecessary stuff. Being knowledgeably doesn't mean you know everything happening to the patient because taking care of patient for 24 hours in critical care give medical personnel the benefit of knowing the patient inside out. Hence, when doctors and nurses suggesting anything, don't jump into conclusion and argue all the time but be smart and wise about it. Being appreciative of what doctors and nurses do is another key point to this. Just by saying 'Thank You' is enough actually. Do remember that, doctors and nurses are human being, treating them with respect will motivate them to take care of your loved ones better. Even though we treat all patients equally, we tend to give better treatment to people that we like. This is what differs human and robots.
I know it sounds harsh. But I've seen so many patient get better in fast phase when nurses and doctors treat them with love instead of feeling forceful because relative are too demanding and fussy.

4) Give 100% of your support physically and spiritually
Recovery phase is essential. When he or she have gone through rough patch of being a critical patient, recovery phase is crucial especially to avoid relapse. You, as relative is needed physically and act as reminder for him or her to live better life. Don't just assumed that she's better and doesn't care about you visiting them cause this is the point where you encouraged them to live better. And for Muslim..it saddens me to see critical patient don't care about prayer when they are able to do so and have gone through that life and death phase. I had so many Muslim patient and it's rare to see them asking about prayer even I myself am not a perfect Muslim but I try my hardest to remind them. Therefore, as a family member, you should be the one that they listens to. Why not advised them to live better as a person and be close to God? I bet you'll get your share of deed for doing that too.

Source

5) Prepare mind for the best and the worst
The last point might sounds a bit scary. The truth can be rough. However, this is the fact that you have to live by when having someone close to you in critical ward. Sometimes, you might see that significant someone looking healthy and ready to discharged soon. Looks can be deceiving. When somebody admitted to critical ward looking healthy, don't make your own conclusions. He or she might be fighting for their life internally. Be mentally prepared for the best and the worst future outcome is the best way so you won't be having mental breakdown anytime soon. Treat them as if it will be the last day for them. If wealth is an issue, then creating a will should be reminded. And need I remind, debt plays a bit role in Islam. Declare debts and possibly remind your significant to clear them if they could. Not that you're wishing for the worst. No harm in going extra miles for your loved one cause life is unpredictable.

Lastly, keep in mind that death is inevitable but those whom live have to keep on living.
I know this entry is a bit heavy but I really hope the message came through. I have to admit that I haven't had any experience in terms having my own family admitted but I get how frustrating it could be. Do comment below or email me if you have anything to share or ask.


Happy Eid Al- adha to all.

XOXO
S